What Is Life Like After Divorce?
Your future is whatever you want it to be…
This picture is actually the summer before COVID. This is part of my blended family. Meet my husband Todd, my step-son Carson, and our daughter Caitlyn…missing my son Charley and my daughter Carlye who were finishing college and grad school that year.
Right now I am sitting in my room at the Allegro in Cozumel… having the “headed home blues.” I was thinking about what a great time we have had here. We met 10 friends and had a group vacay together at the resort where most of us met.
It has been beautiful! We had a bit of rain, but for the most part we had great weather, a bit of wind to help with the heat, and just a ton of fun and relaxation. We went on a snorkeling boat ride. Horseback riding (twice). ATVs. Jumped into a Cenote (yes, I did not chicken out this time). Played games (Left, Right, Center… and I did win the pot once). Shopping. Went downtown to eat at several awesome restaurants. Did bar hopping around the island (several of our favorite bars). Hanging out in the ocean and the pool. We had 2 different birthdays to celebrate too! It has been an epic trip!
We have a couple here that have been together since they were 17… married for 25 years! 4 kids.
We have a couple that just got engaged… second marriages for both. 1 has 2 boys and the other has 1 daughter.
We have another couple that also are a blended family and they have been married a long time as well. 1 son and 2 daughters.
The last couple have been married a long time… first marriage. 2 girls.
Of course, as I sit at the beach I think about my divorce clients. (Attorneys — we are just not able to shut it completely off.) I was thinking about when I went through my divorce. I truly thought my life was over, my children’s lives were ruined, and that nothing would ever be ok again. Now, over 15 years later, I can see just how wrong I was back then. Life is great! After all, I just spent 17 days with my husband on an amazing vacation in a beautiful location!
All 4 of these families have a great life… whether they were divorced or not does not factor into their happiness now!
If you are separating or recently started the divorce process, I just want to encourage you that there is life after divorce. In fact, it is your life… you can do whatever you want. So, regardless of the situation, you can find happiness. It might not be exactly what you want… you may not have your kids 100% of the time… but it can still be a great life.
So what will you do with your life after divorce?
Will you take an epic trip? No excuses that you don’t have anyone to go with you. Even if you go by yourself it will still be an amazing adventure!
Will you purchase a new house? You can get whatever YOU like and decorate it how YOU want.
Will you get a new pet? A dog or cat can add a ton to your life and you won’t have to worry if your Spouse will get the animal, right?
Will you join a gym? Exercise can help with your mood and allow you to meet new people.
Will you start a new hobby? Having something you love to do can bring about a ton of happiness… even if you are not good at it.
In the end, once you separate, your life if your own. You can do what you wants and paint the life you desire.
Does it take time?
Yes. For some people, it takes longer to get over the divorce than others. Just remember that most of this sadness is in your head… it is over the loss of what you wanted to be forever.
Take the time you need to heal, but don’t let it get the best of you.
At some point, you will be like me, sitting on a beach somewhere, wondering why you spent too much time mourning over your first marriage. Instead look forward to what you can have… enjoy what you do have.. and make your life the life you want to live!
Want to more about Carrie Sue? Check out her website Carrie Sue Doxsee
